Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
