i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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