He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I will die if light touches me.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
