I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
