You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
