Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just had sex bonerless
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
