butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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