Pappa wants mamma naked
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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