Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
