Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
