okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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