We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
