the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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