Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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