I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize