I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
