I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
