y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
