there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
