I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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