I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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