Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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