Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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