so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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