this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
