He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
