): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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