I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
