And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
