I looked at my own cervix.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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