ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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