Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
