hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Randomize
