Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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