Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
