thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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