i just google imaged poop.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
