life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
babies were throwing up all over the place
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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