Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
they need to just BURY HIM!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
