this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
