He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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