I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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