Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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