You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
