please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
