you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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