Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
