it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
