I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My sheets look like a crime scene.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
