Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
