True but thats because hes a fetus.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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