If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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