I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
